READING RECOMMENDATIONS
A Day on Conscious Relationships

How to Not Die Alone: Overcoming Your Dating Blindspots
Logan Ury

Relational Mindfulness: From Trauma to Connection
Terry Real

Healing Attachment Wounds to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships
Alan Robarge

Explore the science of finding, building, and maintaining thriving relationships.
Have you noticed any recurring patterns in your relationships? Like the same themes keep reappearing, but with different partners, and in different situations? Even if they seem to be causing unhappiness - both in yourself and others? If you're not getting the results you want in this area of your life, it's likely you've inherited a relationship 'operating system', which you learned by observing others in early childhood. This, along with your dominant attachment style (secure, avoidant, or anxious), can often prevent you from getting what you really want from intimate relationships. The good news is - these aren’t set in stone. It is possible to change your attachment style and to break the unconscious patterns that have been governing your relationships until now.
Content
In this online conference, we’ll explore the science and psychology of finding, building, and maintaining conscious relationships, with talks on: - Healing Attachment Wounds to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships; how the attachment style we develop in early years 'follows' us through life, influencing our behaviour and how we relate to others, how to understand your own attachment style, why secure relating is a skill you can learn, and how to make your secure tendencies more dominant to create lasting, meaningful, and intimate relationships - Alan Robarge
- Relational Mindfulness: From Trauma to Connection; the neurobiology behind why, despite our best intentions, we repeat the same dysfunctional moves in relationships that we first learned in childhood, why true liberation is about freeing ourselves from our own automatic responses, and how ‘relational mindfulness’ offers a science-based skillset for creating warmer, closer, and more passionate relationships - Terry Real
- How to Not Die Alone: Overcoming Your Dating Blindspots; understand what’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern), how to know what to look for in a long term partner, how to make online dating effortless and fun, strategies for meeting potential partners in real life, and how to use the latest insights from behavioural psychology to create lasting, life-giving relationships in which both partners thrive - Logan Ury
You’ll learn how these insights can be applied to create thriving relationships in your own life, and also how to help others do the same.
Event Schedule:
- 1:00pm – 2:00pm: Healing Attachment Wounds to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships - Alan Robarge
- 2:00pm - 2:30pm: Break
- 2:30pm - 3:30pm: Relational Mindfulness: From Trauma to Connection - Terry Real
- 3:30pm - 4:00pm: Break
- 4:00pm - 5:00pm: How to Not Die Alone: Overcoming Your Dating Blindspots - Logan Ury (Live Interview)
Lectures & Speakers
Healing Attachment Wounds to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships
Let’s talk about Attachment in Relationships, specifically patterns of Insecure Attachment. We will cover an introduction to history and also the categorization of Styles. We will consider how Insecure Attachment points towards common trauma symptoms of Hyper-Arousal, Intrusion, and Constriction.
Interchangeable terminology for Attachment Injuries, Attachment Wounds, and Attachment Trauma will highlight the range and subjective continuum of behaviours that show up in our relationships. We will reflect on how to create quality bonds, the universality of emotional unavailability, and the dependency paradox.
This lecture is for anyone who values self-reflection when it comes to creating quality relationships.

Alan Robarge
Healing Attachment Wounds to Create Deep and Lasting Relationships
Alan Robarge is a Licensed Professional Counselor and has been helping clients for 20 years. He is a Psychotherapist, focusing on healing attachment trauma and improving relationships. He takes a Contemplative, Body-Focused, Expressive Arts approach when working with clients. Alan manages an online Community Program and offers online courses, including The Four Attachment Distress Responses. You can learn more about his work at https://www.alanrobarge.com
Reading Recommendations:
- Hold Me Tight, Sue Johnson
- Attachment in Adulthood, Mikulincer and Shaver
- Becoming Attached: First Relationships and How They Shape Our Capacity to Love, Robert Karen
Relational Mindfulness: From Trauma to Connection
Research tells us that our autonomic nervous system scans our body four times per second asking “am I safe?, am I safe? am I safe? am I safe?”
If the answer is ‘yes’, we stay neurobiologically in our prefrontal cortex, the most mature part of our brain, our wise adult self, the part of us that is here and now that can observe, reason and decide. However, if the answer is ‘no, I don’t feel safe’, more primitive parts of our neurology get activated. The wise adult self shuts down and the more primitive reactive automatic parts of our nervous system take over. We find ourselves, despite our best intentions, repeating the same dysfunctional moves in relationships that we first learned in our childhood. The sense of the whole of US, disappears and we move into a you and me, win or lose adversarial contest.
The spiritual teacher, Krishnamurti, once said “True liberation is freedom from our own automatic responses.” This workshop teaches the skill of ‘relational mindfulness’, the cultivation of our wise adult selves even in heated moments. Trauma pulls us into immature behaviors in our relationships and learning mature relational skills has the power to heal our deepest injuries.

Terry Real
Relational Mindfulness: From Trauma to Connection
Terrence Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents along with a professional training program for clinicians to learn his Relational Life Therapy methodology. He is the bestselling author of “I Don’t Want to Talk About It”, “How Can I Get Through to You?”, and “The New Rules of Marriage”. You can check more of his work at https://terryreal.com
Reading Recommendations:
- Us: How Moving Relationships Beyond You and Me Creates More Love, Passion, and Understanding by Terry Real
- A Matter of Choice by Terry Real
How to Not Die Alone: Overcoming Your Dating Blindspots
Have you ever looked around and wondered, ‘Why has everyone found love except me?’ you’re not the only one. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives – they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including who to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love.
Drawing from years of research, behavioural scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. You have to actually change your behaviour. In this live interview session, Logan will show you how.
Incorporating insights from behavioural science, original research, and real-life stories, you’ll learn:
— What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern)
— What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t)
— How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you)
— How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love)
— How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews)
— Why ‘the spark’ is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway)
And more…
Logan’s data-driven, step-by-step approach has the potential to help you find, build and keep a relationship, in which both partners thrive.

Logan Ury
How to Not Die Alone: Overcoming Your Dating Blindspots
Logan Ury is a behavioural scientist turned dating coach, and the author of How To Not Die Alone. As the Director of Relationship Science at the dating app Hinge, she leads a research team dedicated to helping people find love. After studying psychology at Harvard, she ran Google’s behavioural science team—the Irrational Lab.
Logan’s work has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, TIME, The Washington Post, GQ, Glamour, Vice, on HBO, BBC, and she was a featured speaker at SXSW in 2021. You can learn more of her works at: https://www.loganury.com
Reading Recommendations:
- How Not to Die Alone – Logan Ury
- Want to Improve Your Relationship? Start Paying More Attention to Bids – Logan Ury
- The Course of Love – Alain de Botton
- Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find – and Keep – Love – Amir Levine
Video and Podcast:
- The History of Marriage– Logan Ury
- On Being – Alain de Botton
What TWU students are saying
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Tickets
Full Day Pass: £49.99
(includes VAT + Booking Fee)
Student/Unwaged: £26.99
(includes VAT + Booking Fee)
Date and time
24/04/2022
13:00 – 17:00 BST
Venue
Online Conference
Money back guarantee
The Weekend University guarantees an excellent learning experience. If you are not fully satisfied with the day, you will receive 100% of your money back – with no questions asked. Simply contact us on support@theweekenduniversity.com to arrange your refund.
Membership
Want access to the recordings and event materials for this conference?
Date and time
24/04/2022
13:00 – 17:00 BST
Location
Online Conference
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