Have you noticed any recurring patterns in your relationships?
Like the same themes keep reappearing, but with different partners, and in different situations?
Even if they seem to be causing unhappiness – both in yourself and others?
If you’re not getting the results you want in this area of your life, it’s likely you’ve inherited a relationship ‘operating system’, which you learned by observing others in early childhood.
This, along with your dominant attachment style (secure, avoidant, or anxious), can often prevent you from getting what you really want from intimate relationships.
The good news is – these aren’t set in stone.
It is possible to change your attachment style and to break the unconscious patterns that have been governing your relationships until now.
In this online conference, we’ll explore the science and psychology of finding, building, and maintaining conscious relationships, with talks on:
You’ll learn how these insights can be applied to create thriving relationships in your own life, and also how to help others do the same.
Let’s talk about Attachment in Relationships, specifically patterns of Insecure Attachment. We will cover an introduction to history and also the categorization of Styles. We will consider how Insecure Attachment points towards common trauma symptoms of Hyper-Arousal, Intrusion, and Constriction.
Interchangeable terminology for Attachment Injuries, Attachment Wounds, and Attachment Trauma will highlight the range and subjective continuum of behaviours that show up in our relationships. We will reflect on how to create quality bonds, the universality of emotional unavailability, and the dependency paradox.
This lecture is for anyone who values self-reflection when it comes to creating quality relationships.
Alan Robarge is a Licensed Professional Counselor and has been helping clients for 20 years. He is a Psychotherapist, focusing on healing attachment trauma and improving relationships. He takes a Contemplative, Body-Focused, Expressive Arts approach when working with clients. Alan manages an online Community Program and offers online courses, including The Four Attachment Distress Responses. You can learn more about his work at https://www.alanrobarge.com
Research tells us that our autonomic nervous system scans our body four times per second asking “am I safe?, am I safe? am I safe? am I safe?”
If the answer is ‘yes’, we stay neurobiologically in our prefrontal cortex, the most mature part of our brain, our wise adult self, the part of us that is here and now that can observe, reason and decide. However, if the answer is ‘no, I don’t feel safe’, more primitive parts of our neurology get activated. The wise adult self shuts down and the more primitive reactive automatic parts of our nervous system take over. We find ourselves, despite our best intentions, repeating the same dysfunctional moves in relationships that we first learned in our childhood. The sense of the whole of US, disappears and we move into a you and me, win or lose adversarial contest.
The spiritual teacher, Krishnamurti, once said “True liberation is freedom from our own automatic responses.” This workshop teaches the skill of ‘relational mindfulness’, the cultivation of our wise adult selves even in heated moments. Trauma pulls us into immature behaviors in our relationships and learning mature relational skills has the power to heal our deepest injuries.
Terrence Real is an internationally recognized family therapist, speaker, and author. He founded the Relational Life Institute, offering workshops for couples, individuals, and parents along with a professional training program for clinicians to learn his Relational Life Therapy methodology. He is the bestselling author of “I Don’t Want to Talk About It”, “How Can I Get Through to You?”, and “The New Rules of Marriage”. You can check more of his work at https://terryreal.com
Have you ever looked around and wondered, ‘Why has everyone found love except me?’ you’re not the only one. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives – they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including who to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love.
Drawing from years of research, behavioural scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. You have to actually change your behaviour. In this live interview session, Logan will show you how.
Incorporating insights from behavioural science, original research, and real-life stories, you’ll learn:
— What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern)
— What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t)
— How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you)
— How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love)
— How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews)
— Why ‘the spark’ is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway)
Logan’s data-driven, step-by-step approach has the potential to help you find, build and keep a relationship, in which both partners thrive.
Logan Ury is a behavioural scientist turned dating coach, and the author of How To Not Die Alone. As the Director of Relationship Science at the dating app Hinge, she leads a research team dedicated to helping people find love. After studying psychology at Harvard, she ran Google’s behavioural science team—the Irrational Lab.
Logan’s work has appeared in The New York Times, The Atlantic, TIME, The Washington Post, GQ, Glamour, Vice, on HBO, BBC, and she was a featured speaker at SXSW in 2021. You can learn more of her works at: https://www.loganury.com
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